An Open Letter to President Xi of the Chinese Communist Party

Congratulations on a great year.

Merry Christmas, Mr. President. Or, is it Exalted One, or Dear Leader, or Commissar? Whatever it is, I hope this letter finds you in better health than the rest of the world.

You remember the rest of the world, don’t you? The one you infected with the Wuhan virus? Almost 1.5 million dead? The world from which you hid the effects until it was too late? The world into which you allowed people from your country to travel, while you prohibited them from traveling within China?

The few of us who still care are curious. Seriously, how many people in China actually died from your virus? How many people perished in their apartments behind doors that your communist minions welded shut? Where are the scientists and doctors who sounded the alarm before disappearing? We know one is dead, an early victim of the virus, but where are the others?

It must be somewhat embarrassing, if you were capable of such bourgeois emotion, that the Wuhan Virus broke out first in the city that hosts the Wuhan Institute of Virology which was studying coronaviruses. Just a coincidence, I'm sure. Now I hear you’re blaming the introduction of the virus into Wuhan on imported frozen food. Hah! Good luck selling that one.

You must be upset that President Trump has been arresting and deporting the “students” and “scientists” studying in sensitive labs at our universities. I know, I know, it’s hard to steal research when your people are forced to seek refuge in your embassies. Hang in there. Trump will be gone in a couple of months and things will get a lot easier, I promise.

You must also be relieved that Joe Biden won our election this month. Unlike that mouthy, orange New Yorker, Joe is an easy-going guy from Delaware who is a card-carrying denizen of the swamp. The government will look a lot like the Obama Administration in a few months and, with Biden likely to be a one-term president, he’ll probably be more favorably disposed to deals. What does he have to lose? In fact, his son will probably see to it. You remember Hunter, right?

The thing that amazes me, and no doubt blows your mind as well, President, Xi, is that with over 250,000 Americans dead and our economy in tatters no one on either the political left or right seems to care about your role in all of this. No anger, no outrage. Looks like you’ll get away clean.

It’s easy to understand the Democrat’s reticence to criticize—they are fellow travelers, after all. The Republicans are a bit of a surprise, but they’re so busy fighting among themselves they don’t have time to act against you.

So, Merry Christmas, President Xi, and congratulations on your successful, no cost screwing of America. Perhaps no one notices anymore because we’re all so used to being screwed by our own government.